Ending the Indiana Jones franchise with a depressing, groaning whimper, Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny proves that sometimes it is best not to unearth the relics of the past in the corrosive air of a creatively corrupt present.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade had the perfect ending, with the third (and supposedly last) film in the series bookending the thrilling adventures of archaeologist Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) with a race towards the horizon as John Williams’ iconic score brings the series to a crescendo.

That was 1989. Thirty-four years later and Indiana Jones is dragged kicking-and-screaming into a new adventure, this time under the command of the overlords at Walt Disney, who long-ago exchanged their talent for creating iconic family-friendly movies for a treasure-trove of IP. Yet with no Steven Spielberg at the helm and a weary, cranky Harrison Ford unable to recapture the glory of the past, Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny is a lame dud that makes Kingdom of the Crystal Skull look like Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny begins with an 80-year-old Dr. Jones living a lonely and bitter life in a New York City apartment as the vibrant decade of the Sixties moves on without him. When Dr. Jones is visited by his long-estranged goddaughter Helena (Phoebe Waler-Bridge) who has established a reputation as a treasure hunter, Dr. Jones is thrust into a high stakes search for an ancient artefact that legend says can help those who possess it travel back in time. Also on the hunt for the artefact is Dr. Voller (Mads Mikkelsen) a former Nazi scientist who wants to redo the events of WWII.

Unlike Denis Villeneuve with Blade Runner 2049 and Joseph Kosinski with Top Gun: Maverick, director James Mangold (Logan) brings little in the way of innovation or style to the Indiana Jones story. The usual bag of tricks is present, yet delivered with lacklustre energy and undercooked nods to nostalgia that are depressing in the reminder that better days – and indeed better films – are behind us.

…Dial of Destiny instead plays like a Marvel Cinematic Universe movie: a prologue uses de-aging VFX technology that ages poorly with every passing minute; time-travel and its implications is a core theme; and there is an introduction of new characters clearly shoehorned in the Indiana Jones story to create potential spin-offs in a pathetic bid to fit in with today’s world building themes.

The woefully miscast Phoebe Waller-Bridge lacks the charisma to turn her know-it-all rogue into a character worth investing in or rooting for. Even worse – surprisingly, frustratingly – is Harrison Ford who, in his fifth outing as Indiana Jones, has turned the crusading adventurer that we all love into a bitter and grumpy old man that closely resembles the real Ford.

While there are key dramatic elements that explains why Indy has turned into Grumpy, the handling of those moments and the films’ key themes of time and regret are never satisfactorily explored, not when there is another CGI action sequence to dull the senses. If only we could go back in time and erase this mess of a film from existence.