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#10
NON-STOP
Non-Stop poster

CAST
LIAM NEESON, MICHELLE DOCKERY, SCOOT McNAIRY, JULIANNE MOORE, LUPITA NYONG’O, COREY STOLL

DIRECTED BY
JAUME COLLET-SERRA

It’s very clear now: there is no turning back for Liam Neeson.

Once a leading man of authority and credibility, his transition into action hero has led to one generic shoot-em-up, beat-em-down thriller after another. With Non-Stop an attempt to at least make things borderline interesting was given, yet even Liam Neeson fighting bad guys on an airplane is derived on excitement, director Jaume Collet-Serra resting his film on the slagging shoulders of his leading man, no doubt in order to distract from an annoyingly silly plot .

Even the presence of Julianne Moore couldn’t add class to this stale stool of a film.   

 

 


#9
JERSEY BOYS
Jersey Boys poster

CAST
JOHN LLOYD YOUNG, ERICH BERGEN, MICHAEL LOMENDA, RENEE MARINO, VINCENT PIAZZA, CHRISTOPHER WALKEN

DIRECTED BY
CLINT EASTWOOD

By all accounts the Jersey Boys musical is a good time had by all. Its film adaptation, however, is another matter entirely, with director Clint Eastwood zapping whatever rousing fun was found in the jukebox stage musical based on the life and music of Frank Valli and the Four Seasons.

Where a great handle on craft and much panache was needed to make Jersey Boys work, Eastwood instead delivered a cluster of a musical that felt rushed and undercooked, resulting in poorly paced, badly acted, immaturely crafted and emotionally bereft movie.     

 

 

 

#8
ANNABELLE
Annabelle poster

CAST
ANNABELLE WALLIS, TONY AMENDOLA, WARD HORTON, BRIAN HOWE, KERRY O’MALLEY, ALFRE WOODARD

DIRECTED BY
JOHN R. LEONETTI

Where The Conjuring was a brilliantly directed and acted supernatural horror movie that was filled with welcome old-school energy, Annabelle is the exact opposite.

A stupefying prequel filled with uninspired direction from John R. Leonatti, and wooden performances from Annabelle Wallis and Wade Horton, Annabelle is the worst kind of horror movie cash in: stale, moronic and coasting on the acclaim of a much better film that deserved a much better follow up.  

 

 

 

#7
ANNIE
Annie poster

CAST
JAMIE FOXX, QUEVENZHANE WALLIS, ADEWALE AKINNUOYE-AGBAJE, ROSE BYRNE, BOBBY CANNAVALE, CAMERON DIAZ, DAVID ZAYAS

DIRECTED BY
WILL GLUCK

While Will Smith the actor is a superstar, Will Smith the producer proves to be a work in progress.

Repeating the successful formula used on his remake of The Karate Kid, Smith – along with fellow producer and hip-hop mogul Jay-Z, along with writer/director Will Gluck – took a classic story in depression era musical Annie and adapted it for our modern, diverse times.

A welcome gesture to be sure, but good intentions do not make a good movie, with Annie circa 2014 a tone deaf, clumsy and dull remix that featured career worst performances by Jamie Foxx and Cameron Diaz, and a wasted opportunity to evolve the career of young Quvenzhane Wallis.

 

 

 

#6
THE ZERO THEOREM
The Zero Theorem poster

CAST
CHRISTOPH WALTZ, MATT DAMON, LUCAS HEDGES, TILDA SWINTON, DAVID THEWLIS, MELANIE THIERRY

DIRECTED BY
TERRY GILLIAM

Terry Gilliam’s latest movie The Zero Theorem proves that the maverick filmmaker’s best days are way behind him.

Chaotic, confusing and undisciplined, The Zero Theorem is all Gilliam freak-show philosophising yet no substance, with its focus on the meaning of existence resulting in many to wonder: If time is indeed fleeting, then why the hell are we spending precious minutes watching this dreck?

No doubt Christoph Waltz thought the same thing while he was done up to look like Uncle Fester, with his dedicated performance as a computer genius lost in an existential rut, the only bright spot in a black hole of a movie.

 

 

 

#5
TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION
Transformers: Age of Extinction poster

CAST
MARK WAHLBERG, KELSEY GRAMMER, T.J. MILLER, NICOLA PELTZ, JACK REYNOR, STANLEY STUCCI, TITUS WELLIVER

DIRECTED BY
MICHAEL BAY

Any thought that replacing Shia LaBeouf with Mark Wahlberg would have improved the Transformers franchise was quickly squashed within the first 5 minutes of Transformers: Age of Extinction.

For as long as Michael Bay is calling the shots, the Transformers franchise will always be a loud, over directed, under written, and hammily acted series of movies, with …Age of Extinction the worst instalment yet in the franchise.

That it continues to make money says a lot about the current state of mankind.

 

 

 

#4
A MILLION WAY TO DIE IN THE WEST
A Million Ways to Die in the West poster

CAST
SETH MACFARLANE, CHARLIZE THERON, NEIL PATRICK HARRIS, LIAM NEESON, GIOVVANI RIBISSI, AMANDA SEYFRIED, SARAH SILVERMAN

DIRECTED BY
SETH MACFARLANE

Seth MacFarlane is a talented man who has done well for himself as an animator and voice actor (Family Guy, American Dad), and even surprised with his debut film Ted.

Yet reality checks can be quite the bitch, and with A Million Ways to Die in the West MacFarland quickly learned that he has a long, long way to go before he can make an impression as a leading man, especially if he continues to write and direct films that are as crickets chirping unfunny and annoyingly smug as his comedic western.

Where MacFarlane repeatedly referenced western comedy classic Blazing Saddles as an inspiration for his film, A Million Ways to Die in the West is less Mel Brooks and more Adam Sandler in quality. Or to use Western terms, a steaming pile of horse dung.   

 

 


#3
INTO THE STORM
Into the Storm poster

CAST
RICHARD ARMITAGE, SARAH WAYNE CALLIES, ALYCIA DEBNAM CAREY, MAX DEACON, NATHAN KRESS, MATT WALSH

DIRECTED BY
STEVEN QUALE

No one was screaming for a found footage disaster movie, yet we got one anyway with Into the Storm, a film that doesn’t so much as transport you into the eye of a tornado, but rather wish you were whisked away by a real twister and beaten senseless against telephone poll.

Filled with annoying characters portrayed poorly by actors who seem to be reading off of cue cards, and directed by Steven Quale with the attitude that he can “fix it in post”, Into the Storm is the worst kind of novelty filmmaking that critically forgets that a solid foundation of character and story are needed for genre theatrics to have a positive impact.

Fittingly, in the end all that Into the Storm represents is a cinematic example of “pissing in the wind.”    

 

 

 

#2
THE OTHER WOMAN
The Other Woman poster

CAST
CAMERON DIAZ, NIKOLAI COSTER-WALDAU, TAYLOR KINNEY, DON JOHNSON, LESLIE MANN, NICKI MINAJ, KATE UPTON

DIRECTED BY
NICK CASSAVETES

If Bridesmaids was one giant leap for the case that a female heavy cast can deliver in the risqué comedy stakes, then The Other Woman is three giant steps backwards.

Although starring gifted comedic actors in Cameron Diaz and Leslie Mann, this Nick Cassavetes directed, Melissa Stacks scripted feminist revenge comedy is built on out of date straw-men (in this case a cheating husband played by a one note Nikolai Coster-Waldau) and adolescent “girl power” theatrics, with not one of the lead female protagonists drawing any sympathy for their betrayal or laughs for the immature revenge scenarios.

Proving that there is indeed a fine art in making an R-rated comedy work, The Other Woman is shallow, irritating and just plain atrocious.     

 

 

 

#1
TAMMY
Tammy poster

CAST
MELISSA McCARTHY, SUSAN SARANDON, DAN AKROYD, KATHY BATES, GARY COLE, MARK DUPLASS, ALISON JANNEY

DIRECTED BY
BEN FALCONE

Careers are built on opportunities. For Melissa McCarthy and husband/co-writer/director Ben Falcone the success achieved by the Bridesmaids star provided a green light for their joint feature filmmaking debut Tammy to be given the go ahead. After those final credits rolled, many would have looked up to the sky and cried “WHY!!!” in deep despair.

Shockingly awful from direction, to screenplay, to performances and everything in between, Tammy tapped McCarthy’s shtick dry within its first 7 minutes, and then had her running on empty for the remaining 90, trying with all her might to eek out a laugh yet getting crickets instead. So bad is McCarthy and Falcone’s implosion of a comedy that even the likes of Susan Sarandon and Alison Janney couldn’t survive the fallout.

That Tammy actually made money says much about McCarthy’s star power. Now it’s up to her to make wise decisions about her career. The first step: No more projects within the family.

 

 

 

 
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